A Holiday Message from a Grieving Artist

This year I'm not creating or sending out holiday cards for the first time in 40 years. When my beautiful and beloved wife Donna died in my arms from hereditary cancer in June after a courageous battle against the heinous disease, my heart was irreparably broken and my creativity and joy disappeared into a black hole of unbearable grief. However, I would like to leave you with something to think about at this time of year, and to remind everyone that love, empathy, thoughtfulness, fierce compassion for others, and the courage to show up and speak up can prevent unnecessary suffering and the needless loss of a precious life.

One of my wife's favorite holiday movies was It's a Wonderful Life, so here's a paraphrased line from the movie to reflect upon...

“Strange, isn’t it? Each person’s life touches so many other lives. And when that person isn’t around they leave an awful hole, don’t they?”

Please join with me by opening up your hearts and wallets to honor and help patients and families dealing with the literal hell of cancer this holiday season...

FacingOurRisk.org

St. Jude Children's Research Hospital 

Cancer Support Community Arizona 

Breast Cancer Research Foundation

BrightPink.org 

BRCAStrong

 

My wife's memorial tribute page at FacingOurRisk.org

  If I had a flower for every time I thought of you...I could walk through my garden forever.
-- Alfred Lord Tennyson 

Patented Inventor

Before the pandemic, and before my wife died of hereditary cancer and broke my heart, we were avid kayakers, and on one outing I saw a need for an easy-to-use vessel to stow supplies and equipment that would not interfere with paddling or legroom. So, I invented the kaYAKtail^tm to help solve the problem of never having enough space for dry storage of extra supplies on kayaking adventures. On October 19, 2021 my patent was awarded. Hopefully, someday, after I unpack a ton of emotional baggage from my wife's cancer battle and death, I can bring it to market with the assistance of my patent lawyer and licensing company. And use the funds to help establish a longtime desire of creating an artist retreat for cancer patients and their caregivers and families.

Bottling Grief

 From my grief sketchbook & journal:

Grief Should be Bottled

When you have those moments of entitlement, when you feel superior, when your compassion for others wanes, when you have no empathy, when you put your own selfish needs above your loved ones’ needs, when you take all you have for granted, you take a whiff from the bottle. And it brings you to your knees.

Suddenly an unimaginable heartache hits you. Then an overwhelming fear that your world has forever changed. The bright future that you had so vividly imagined turns dark and bleak. The hopeless feeling that all the things that you held so dear have been ripped from your arms never to be embraced again. The painful guilt of missed opportunities to share your love or just simply say “I love you” sets in. And the tears flow uncontrollably.

Slowly the you regain your composure as the effects wear off. You rise up from your knees with a renewed gratitude for life. And gratefulness that it was only temporary and you thankfully will not have to carry those horrid feelings with you for the rest of your life, unlike me.

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“After sitting at countless deathbeds, I can tell you, no one pines for their houses or cars at the end of life. What is meaningful is the people whom they have loved.” – David Kessler, from the book Finding Meaning, The Sixth Stage of Grief

Broken

The Wizard of Oz said, "Hearts will never be practical until they are made unbreakable."

I will be taking a long break from the drawing board and sketchbook because my heart has been ripped from my chest and crushed and creativity drained from my soul.  In June, the love of my life and mother of my child lost her courageous fight against hereditary breast cancer and passed away peacefully (traumatically for me) in my arms.

 

My beautiful wife was a sweet and generous soul. A loving wife and nurturing mother. A world-class educator. All stolen away by an evil disease.

 

Her nearly 4-year cancer struggle was a nightmare journey through some of the darkest regions of hell for her, me (her primary caregiver), and our adult daughter.  Heartbreakingly, it was preventable.   Genetic testing and prophylactic surgery would have reduced her risk by 95%.  Unfortunately, despite a devastating family history of cancer, the need for urgent genetic testing was never made clear to her by relatives acutely aware of a germline BRCA2 mutation for many years.

Because family members too often fail at effectively communicating the seriousness of the risk and the urgency of getting tested to other family members, there is dire need for more education about and better screening for hereditary cancer risks. To learn more about hereditary cancer and how you can help improve the lives of families and individuals facing hereditary cancer go to this page of mine.

Take time to care. A little effort and love can make a big difference. Not just in one life, but in all the lives connected to that life.  -- mark

 

 

 

 

 

 

A Voice for Science

Snapshot courtesy of John Henry Beyer

Below is a link to a great op-ed science piece written by John Henry Beyer, Ph.D. It was recently published in the Sierra Sun Newspaper of Truckee, California. John is a geophysicist. He is retired from the Lawrence Berkeley National Laboratory where he managed research on the development of climate change mitigation technologies.

The article also featured a reprint of cartoon I created for a Union of Concerned Scientists calendar a few years back. Get the whole story here: https://www.sierrasun.com/news/environment/climate-dispatches-science-is-revolutionary-sometimes-people-like-it-sometimes-they-dont/

 

Adventures in Geography

The Arizona Geographic Alliance has recently released a set of grade level-based Geography Activity Books. (That I just happened to have created the cover design and artwork for, by the way. And there's a couple pieces of interior art I created as well. All provided gratis.) Teachers, parents, and others interested in geography education can pick up or download a copy for free. More information can be found here: https://geoalliance.asu.edu/activitybooks.

The Arizona Geographic Alliance’s purpose is to strengthen geography education in Arizona. They partner with Arizona State University as well as other national and state groups.

On the Other Hand

Sometimes life literally changes in a minute. Plans change, or more accurately, you are often forced to change your plans.
 
Recently a loved one had a life-threatening medical crisis related to her cancer battle.  Now I’m reevaluating plans and reinventing myself to give my full attention to where it is needed the most. That means that updating this journal/blog might be a little sporadic for a while.

Needless to say, my creativity took a serious nosedive because of this crisis. However, while waiting for news from the doctors and surgeons I spent time doodling with my other hand to try and divert my attention. I leave you for now with a couple of those doodles from my sketchbook rendered with my other hand…